There has never been a simpler way out. Spring break is fast approaching and I could never be more ready. I long to just blend into the familiar smells and noises and comfort of my home. Really, though, I just want to make a new home or go back to the old one, whenever it existed.
I'm embarrassed because I still can't shake it. I try to and I don't think about it but nothing helps. I tell myself that it doesn't matter and I guess on some level it doesn't. Then again at the same time it matters a whole lot and why can't I just fucking get over this bullshit.
I've sort of gotten used to the idea that I am going to need some sort of period, perhaps some sort of mourning period, to sort all of this shit out. I knew that I was going to need it but I've been so crazed with school that I haven't allowed myself to indulge.
Things have gotten easier just as I knew that they would but it doesn't seem to matter because nothing matters.
I'm tired and sleep deprived but I'm still almost happy. It's strange because I shouldn't be but I am.
I have no idea where I am going to school next year but that's okay . I tell myself that it's okay.
Nicolo Piovani makes me happy.
