"Alot of things have happend this summer.ive lost two of my bestfriends because i took them for granted.im not as close to my family as i would like to be.my own blood sister hates me.my mom is addicted to everything but me.my dad and me argue everyday,and he doesnt understand.i cry for help but no one ever comes to my rescue. all my mistake burn inside me everyday of my life.i wish i could start over with everything. i wish i was smarter then i was back then.i am so weak and im supposed to be strong.im broken. my familys broken,and familys arent supposed to be like this. i need someone to hold my hand and pick me up when i fall.i cant sleep at night.someone needs to build a damn time machine.i took it all for granted everting i ever had"
Such are the words of my evil little sister on her myspace. I refer to her as "Evil Ellen". Mostly because that's exactly what she is. So yes, it's true. I do hate her. But not because she is my sister, and sisters are supposed to argue. It's because I truly believe that she doesn't give one shit about me. Her public post of agony pleases me only a small amount. The grammatic incorrectness makes me shudder, but I couldn't have expected any more from her.
In fact, that's what I've learned about this little beast of a child. Don't expect anything , which prevents me from becoming upset when I don't receive anything. Which is always what happens. She's jealous of me, and for what? That her father ( my biological one) likes me too? And why shouldn't he? I don't want what she has with him. I have my own father . I don't need hers. And it's true, her mom is addicted to everything but us. Not just her, as she selfishly believes. But maybe if she just cut connections with her, count her loses, and lick her wounds a little bit, she'd be less emotionally wrecked every time our mother disappoints her. As she always does.
I have very little sympathy, because most of the craziness in her life is because of her inability to have any sort of long-term thinking. Any sort of thinking at all, come to think of it. She dug her own grave on this one, and I won't help her out until I'm good and ready.
They're coming to my party, by the way. Which is...good.
Regardless of the insanity that they often bring to my life, I am so happy. Deliriously happy, in fact.
My room is clean. My dog is loving. My parents aren't fed up with me ! Italy is fast approaching. I get to do so much shopping before I leave! I just showered, and I am clean clean clean. I have a beautiful new silk night robe. I am having a party which includes many many good people. Over 52 family members (as of last night's tally..courtesy of my grandma) and many friends. I'm going into the city many times before I leave. Everything is harmonious and perfect in every way, even though they shouldn't be.
Somebody pinch me!
