mercoledì, aprile 13, 2011

Augmented birth certificates and natural parents




I 100% support that adoptees should have their original birth certificates. I believe that we, as human beings, have a right to know the circumstances of our birth and to have the legitimate document at our disposal should we want to consult it.

Theres been talk lately about whether or not natural parents should have  the right to obtain their child's AUGMENTED birth certificate.  And to that, I say NO.

And my reasoning is really quite simple. Relinquishment is the termination of parental rights. Just as , under the law, the natural parents are no longer the child's guardians,  they should have no rights to the child's augmented birth certificate- just as they would have no rights to the birth certificates of any child they met on the street.

Some people will argue that the open records should go both ways. I don't think that makes any sense.  Adoptees deserve their original birth certificates because it is something that every other citizen in the USA has posession of. It represents our original identity. Our original identity was never relinquished by US- it was TAKEN from us. We were never consulted as to our relinquishment- and thus I feel we are deserving of at least a piece of paper that represents who we were and where we came from. Parents who relinquish their child for adoption, regardless of the circumstances, are giving up one of the most important roles nature has assigned to them. That child is now given a new family and a new identity. SHOULD that child wish to find their biological family in the future, I feel that they should be able to access that record in order to help them reunite. Natural family members, obviously, should have the right to the OBC. It is a record that pertains to them directly, as it is the document of the child's birth. However, the augmented birth certificate is no such thing. It is a new version that lists the adoptive parents as the child's mother and father. Therefore, the document does NOT pertain to the biological parents in any way shape or form. It's a private affair between the child and his or her new family.

If the argument is that natural parents  should have an ethical right to know where their child is going and their new identity- I feel that is faulty logic. If both parties agree to an open adoption or ongoing contact, so be it. But I feel it is absurd for natural parents to think that they have any sort of right to the childs  new  and legal identity when their parental rights have been severed. Particularly when they have severed them themselves. I am very much in support of contact, reunion, and open adoptions. I was raised in a semi open adoption myself, and have been happily reunited for over a decade. But once the child is gone and the papers are signed- that's it. I don't think adoption should be an attractive decision. I don't think that relinquishing a child SHOULD enable the natural parents to have unrestricted access to their relinquished children, especially if the adoption is not fully open.  Adoptees will have the joy of forever being just that..adoptees: children who were given away to other families who then become adults.

 It seems like a fair trade to me. You want to place your child in another family? Good. But you don't get to have complete access to their new, legal identity. We're talking legal documents here....and legally, the child now is a part of another family. Legally, the child has no ties to the biological parents. Legally, the biological parents have no rights to  the child.  So how is it that people are arguing that open records should be a two way street? Adoption certainly isn't.  Only the adoptee gets adopted, and that's a fact. Why is it that in order to be given access to a part of OUR identity- we  are expected to reciprocate? When we were born, our natural parents had all rights to us. And they relinquished them. Regardless of the reason, it doesn't change the outcome. WE relinquished nothing. WE signed nothing. WE deserve UNRESERVED access to OUR original documents. And I think that natural parents have the right to the OBC as well. But our new identity is ALL our own. My natural parents chose to remove me from the future of their family....why on earth should they be allowed access to my new life that I was given by my adoptive family? Why does it seem that I, as the adoptee, NEVER  get a choice?

We adoptees are having enough trouble convincing people that we deserve to know our original identities. I don't think natural parents will EVER get the right to their child's updated and augmented records. I don't think it will happen. However, I'd be pretty irritated if those who are FOR open records were only in support of them if BOTH parties get access. Give adoptees their original birth certificates and support any other personal agenda separetely.... haven't we paid enough?