Ever Falling Down

Alot is going on . But what's so new about that? I've had to do a lot of re-evaluating and self examination lately, and truly? I don't like what I see.

What have I become?

A hypocrite.

I claim to be a Christian, and I claim to to know God, but what on earth am I talking about? Sure, I know what I'm supposed to do. Do I do it? No. I'm farther away from God than I have been in a long time, and it's my doing. I ignore my moral values. I ignore my Christian friends. I let temptation and sin seep into my life like poison, and I'm so...tired of it.

One day, I'm going to have to answer for all of this . I'll have to look Him in the face, and explain myself. When questioned, what will I do? Cry? Beg? Explain away my past errors? How do I explain setting foot on a path so blatantly treacherous? '

I don't even know myself anymore.

God help me for ever finding out.