We just don't see it coming.

I officially no longer know what to do. I want to maintain a relationship with Dave and Cindy..but Ellen has made it impossible for me now.

I think I'm going to have to give up on them, and maybe just..end the relationship with the little bit of dignity I have left.

It's an agonizing decision; one that I don't especially want to make. I have that " knot -in-your-stomach" nervous feeling, my temples hurt, I constantly feel like crying. This is whole episode is so draining. I just want it to go away.


Maybe I can just..fade into the woodwork.Maybe I can just keep the contact very casual, and then leave for Italy and not talk to them for a year!


That may be the best solution.

I have to think about it.

I am agonizing.

My brain is melting.

It saddens me that things haven't worked out.

But hey, some things just aren't mean to be I guess.

I am officially over it. I don't need it. It doesn't matter to me anymore.

Thats what I've decided.

Right here, right now.

It needs to end, for my sanity.