Sometimes I am surprised with the vast amount of serious negative feelings I can contain within myself. I can get angry, sure. Who can't . But rarely do I feel these feelings of revenge and vindication and pure evil.


The space between my eyes hurt, and my stomach hurts, and my left foot hurts, and my body is so tired.

But mentally, I'm so wide awake.

This... feeling. It's like some toxic substance, sneaking its way into my brain, and eating away at all of my calm and introspect . I was so angry and exasperated and tired and fed up tonight, I lay in bed just fuming. I tried taking deeeepp breaths.

In through your nose, out through your mouth.

Feel the anger and worry and sickness escape through your nostrils.

In, and out.

Bullll fuckinnggg shit. It didn't work, and I got sort of lightheaded. I'm not sure if that's just my everyday feelings of woozy-ness kicking in, or I lost some serious oxygen trying to calm down a bit.

I couldn't sleep.

It is exactly 12:00 AM, and I am not even the slightest bit tired. I feel so sick, and I hate myself for it.


God I fucking hate the things I do.